THIS RIDICULOUS ACTIVITY IS NOW OVER.
THE RECIPIENTS OF THESE DUBIOUS PRIZES HAVE BEEN SELECTED.

Fancy eating breakfast off your own face?

So now How To Get To Great Ideas is out in the wild and people are getting their eyeballs on its contents, I want to know what they think about it.

Especially you.

So I’m asking you to write an Amazon review of the book in return for a chance to win a hand-painted plate with your face on it.

If Beyoncé won this competition (and maybe she will) it would look something like this.

Nice, eh?

If you haven’t bought the book yet, you should probably head along here to find out more.

Or else just take a risk and go directly to Amazon to order a copy. (That’s my favoured approach.)

Once you’ve got a copy of the book, it’s pretty easy to get involved:

  1. Skim, read or devour as much of the book as you can
  2. Scroll to the customer reviews section on the product page (right here)
  3. Click ‘Write a customer review
  4. Email me a screenshot of your review after you’ve posted it with the subject ‘I want a plate, mate’

If you want some inspiration, here’s the first review of the book that went up hours after it came out:

It’s rather lovely, isn’t it? But you don’t need to be quite so wordy. If you just want to write a sentence or two, that’s fine. And be honest with your review. Sadly, you can’t give the book any more than 5 stars. I know many of you will find that frustratingly limited. But it’s out of my control, I’m afraid. 

If Angela Lansbury was to win the competition (and she may do – she’s 93 and in the new Mary Poppins film) her prize would look a bit like this:

And if she decided to eat her breakfast off it, it might look a bit like this:

Lucky Angela!

On New Year’s Day 2019, I’ll be choosing the winners. And you’ve got two chances to win.

  • One will be a random selection from all the reviews I receive.
  • And the other will be the review that’s rated the most helpful. So that means you might want to encourage people to upvote your review to give yourself a better chance. If more than one review has the same highest number of upvotes, they’ll all win. I could end up painting lots of plates!

How does that sound? Awesome? I know!

If you want to know more details about the plates (and who in their right mind wouldn’t?), they will be:

  • 10.5 inches in diameter.
  • Hand-painted by me.
  • Possibly nothing like the imagery I’m using.
  • Potentially not very good (because I’ve never done this before).
  • Glazed so you can actually use them as proper plates.
  • Created at the Pottery Cafe, right here.
  • Wrapped up nicely and shipped to you, wherever you are in the world.
  • An utterly unique one-of-a-kind object.

I might even do one for myself while I’m at it. It could look a bit like this:

So, all you have to do is post a review and send me the evidence.

And you could be licking baked bean-juice from a mediocre painting of your face in early 2019.

But I’ll understand if you can’t be bothered. After all, you must be inundated with best-selling authors asking if they can paint your portrait on crockery. It’s sooooo passé.

But I really hope you do it.

Because I don’t want to paint anyone else’s face but yours.

Really hoping you find a banknote in the pocket of an old jacket,

Dave