The Bull Sheet

Paste any LinkedIn post below for an authenticity report. The satirical diagnostic tool will sniff out the red flags.

This is a tongue-in-cheek tool. Mainly. Any offense is your own doing.
If you want to improve your own posts, try this GPT.
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About The Bull Sheet

The Bull Sheet is a free AI-powered LinkedIn post analyser that scores content across 12 dimensions of professional nonsense - from humble bragging and hustle porn to AI slop and thought leader cosplay.

Unlike simple keyword matching, it reads behaviour. A post can humble-brag without ever using the word "humbled". Each post gets a score from 0 to 100, a verdict ranging from "All Clear" to "Absolute Cringe", and a breakdown of exactly where the BS is hiding - with receipts.

Created by Dave Birss, it's satirical but genuinely useful. Run it before you post, or just enjoy watching LinkedIn's finest score an unexpected 94. If you want help fixing what it finds, the Deslopifier GPT is standing by.

Frequently Asked Questions

Will this tell me if my LinkedIn post will perform well?

Absolutely not. And maybe quite the opposite. Many of the posts that generate lots of (possibly AI-automated) likes and (possibly AI-generated) comments will get a terrible score from this tool. The purpose of the tool is to discourage people from adding to the cognitive pollution and turning LinkedIn into a sewer of low-value slop. If you're only after performance metrics, maybe take a moment to reconsider your life choices.

Is this academically robust?

No. Are those things you say about Sandra in accounts academically robust? And does that make them any less true?

Who created this tool?

It was created by Dave Birss with the help of Claude Code. Dave is an AI educator and writer. And some of his own posts score badly on this tool, so he has no sympathy for you and your hurt feelings.

Will the costs of the AI tool really bankrupt the creator?

Not if you donate here. Dave pays for the AI processing out of his own pocket. Stats show that some people abuse the tool and use it again and again without paying. Each time they do so, they tarnish their soul just a little bit more. When the great Anubis weighs their heart against a feather at the end of their days, they shall be found wanting and shall be devoured by the beastly Ammit.

How can I improve my LinkedIn posts?

The short answer is simply to be a better person. If you want additional help avoiding the issues that this tool identifies, you can always run your first draft through this GPT.

Can I use this to check my own posts before publishing?

That's actually the most noble use of this tool. Paste your draft in, wince at the score, and then use the Deslopifier GPT to help you craft a post that reads like it was written by an actual human with something genuine to say. Think of it as a breathalyser for LinkedIn: don't post under the influence of hustle culture.

Why did my completely innocent post score so high?

Did it though? Really? Read it again with fresh eyes. That "humble" opening about being "grateful for the journey" followed by a list of your achievements isn't as innocent as you think. The tool sees what your colleagues are too polite to tell you. If you genuinely believe it's a false positive, fair enough - but maybe sit with the discomfort for a moment first.

Does this work for corporate brand posts too?

Abso-flippin-lutely it does. They are the posts that tend to score worst on this tool because of their jumped-up lack of humanity. Please - for the love of baby penguins - use this tool (and the GPT I've mentioned far too much already) to craft better corporate LinkedIn posts. Thank you!

Does a low score mean my post is actually good?

A low score means your post isn't triggering the common patterns of LinkedIn nonsense. It doesn't mean it's interesting, well-written, or worth anyone's time. You can write something completely BS-free and still be boring. This tool detects bullshit, not brilliance. You'll have to supply the brilliance yourself.