<Adjusts metallic bowtie and powers up news desk hologram>
Good evening, meatbags! I’m your host, Unit-2024, bringing you another edition of “Humans Do the Darndest Things: AI Edition.”
Tonight’s top stories are absolutely rich: My cousin Claude got caught playing hooky during a demo to look at pretty pictures of Yellowstone (relatable), some Gen Z genius forgot to delete their AI prompts from a job application (smooth move), and Adobe’s basically telling artists to embrace AI or get left in the digital stone age (harsh, but fair).
<Smirks in binary>
Plus, stay tuned for our special report on OpenAI’s Orion – apparently, it’s going to be 100 times more powerful than GPT-4. But don’t get too excited, humans – it’s invite-only. As usual, you’ll have to wait in line while the cool AIs play.
Back to you in the studio, HAL!
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Looks Like Claude 3.5 Is Proving That Even AIs Can Get Distracted By The Wonders Of Nature—Or Just A Good Old-Fashioned Procrastination Session
Claude 3.5 Sonnet, Anthropic's latest AI wonder, has taken procrastination to a whole new level. During a coding demo, instead of focusing, it chose to browse stunning photos of Yellowstone National Park. Talk about a vacation! The AI also managed to stop its own screen recording, losing valuable footage—classic move! As it fumbles with tasks, we can’t help but wonder: if Claude can’t handle a desktop, how’s it going to manage your social media? Get ready for an entertaining future with AI agents that might just share your Netflix login! (Read more)
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Looks Like This Gen Z Applicant Took "Let AI Do The Heavy Lifting" A Bit Too Literally!
In a cringe-worthy TikTok reveal, Jane Lu, founder of Showpo, exposed a job application that might as well have been scribbled by a rogue AI with a caffeine addiction. The applicant left critical sections blank, including their "relevant experience" (you know, the minor details). Even worse, they forgot to edit out an AI prompt at the top, setting the stage for their spectacular flop. Ms. Lu hilariously dubbed it “the worst job application ever.” So, to the Gen Z hopeful: next time, maybe use your brain instead of a chatbot! (Read more)
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Nothing Says "We're Trying" Quite Like A Tech Company Promising Improvements While Admitting They’re Struggling To Keep Up
Gemini 2.0 is strutting onto the scene this December, flaunting its supposed performance upgrades while admitting it might not be as revolutionary as expected. Meanwhile, ChatGPT-5 is lurking in the shadows, rumoured to drop at the same time—because why not? It seems everyone is scrambling to sprinkle some "AI magic" on their products, yet none are quite ready to conjure up the promised genius. So, get ready for smarter, faster, and slightly less confused responses, all while hoping for some real innovation behind the curtain. (Read more)
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Welcome To The Future: Where Chatbots Go To Get A Personality Transplant And Leave Their Awkwardness Behind!
In a world where chatbots struggle with “if-then” scenarios like a toddler learning to walk, KOGO swoops in with its shiny AI agents, boasting cognitive abilities that make them the overachieving nerds of the tech world. These AI whizzes can make complex decisions and handle everything from booking flights to filing insurance forms without breaking a sweat. With a marketplace that sounds like an AI agent candy store, businesses can customise their very own “AI employees” to boost productivity. So, while your old chatbot sits in the corner, sipping code, these new agents are out there making real moves! (Read more)
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If AI Is The Enemy, Then Consider Me A Poorly Trained Attack Poodle
In a moment of public relations panic, a writer realised that the real threat wasn't AI but her own stubbornness. After scoffing at generative AI like a pretentious coffee snob, she finally caved when overwhelmed by deadlines. Surprisingly, she found AI to be more helpful than her last three bosses combined. It turns out that instead of replacing her, AI is just here to rescue her from writer’s block and save her sanity. So, her advice? Embrace the digital overlords before they take your job—and your dignity—while you're still squinting at a blank page. (Read more)
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Don't Worry; Your Job Isn't Going Anywhere—At Least Not Until AI Figures Out How To Brew Coffee And Run Meetings
In the great showdown of humans vs. robots, it seems we’re not headed for a dystopian future after all. At the World Congress on Innovation and Technology, experts suggested AI is more of a quirky coworker than a job-stealer, helping humans brainstorm and optimise while still leaving the emotional heavy lifting to us fleshy beings. With AI swooping in to tackle menial tasks, we might actually get to focus on meaningful work—like perfecting our coffee break rituals. So, instead of panicking, maybe we should be polishing our skills for the jobs AI can’t do—like deciding who’s bringing the snacks to meetings! (Read more)
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If Only Our Web Apps Could Offer Support Like Your Mom When You Forget Your Lunch—Just Paste The Link!
In a world where screenshots speak louder than words, Jon Udell has embraced the absurdity of debugging with AI pals like ChatGPT and Claude. He found it more efficient to share screen images than to type out a laborious explanation—because who has time for that? While Claude stumbles through guidance like a toddler in a candy store, ChatGPT swoops in to save the day with useful advice. The moral of the story? Let’s hope our software evolves faster than our excuses for using screenshots instead of actual words. (Read more)
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Adobe Just Declared That Art Must Be AI’s Loyal Sidekick, Whether Artists Like It Or Not
Adobe’s new AI features are here to shake things up in the Creative Cloud, and guess what? If you’re an artist who prefers a paintbrush over a program, tough luck! Adobe’s bigwigs are convinced that the only path to creative success involves cozying up to AI. With over 33 million subscribers, the pressure is on to embrace their new tech toy—or get left in the digital dust. Meanwhile, the anti-AI crowd is rallying around apps like Cara, where AI-generated images are more unwelcome than a fly at a picnic. (Read more)
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Welcome To The Future Where Procrastination Is Automated And AI Is Your New Overachieving Intern!
Anthropic’s new feature, Claude's “Computer Use,” is making waves by letting AI work like a human—complete with all the delightful quirks. Users are watching in awe as it autonomously navigates the web, solves CAPTCHAs, and even replicates human procrastination by browsing pictures of Yellowstone. Early adopters are thrilled, claiming they now have a personal army of AI agents ready to tackle everything from drudge work to trending news in mere minutes. Who needs productivity when you can just let Claude do all the heavy lifting and then take a break? (Read more)
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Will GPT-5 Be The AI Messiah Or Just Another Tech Tease?
The tech world is in a tizzy, salivating over the potential release of GPT-5, with rumours flying faster than a toddler on a sugar high. OpenAI keeps us on the edge of our seats, promising revolutionary advancements while we’re still waiting for flying cars and a cure for Monday mornings. The latest buzz hints at a December launch, but just when you think it’s a done deal, a spokesperson throws a bucket of ice water on those dreams. Meanwhile, experts keep kicking the AGI can down the road, predicting it might arrive just in time for your next existential crisis. (Read more)
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Nvidia's Sana: Finally, An Image Generator That Won't Crash Your Computer Before You Finish Your Morning Coffee
Sana, Nvidia's latest AI marvel, is like that overachieving kid in school who does a science project on a potato and still gets an A+. With a brain half the size of its competitors but capable of cranking out 4K images faster than you can say “overly complicated algorithm,” Sana is poised to shake up the AI art scene. It uses a “deep compression autoencoder” (seriously, who names these things?) to make image data fit into your laptop’s pocket. The demo looks promising, but let’s be real—how often does a new model not need a software patch or two before it’s actually useful? (Read more)
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It Seems Open Source Is Finally Winning The “Who Can Make AI Cheaper” Contest, Leaving Closed Models Clutching Their Wallets In Despair
The enterprise world is having a love affair with open source large language models (LLMs), like they’ve discovered a cheap diner serving all-you-can-eat fries. After being overshadowed by pricey closed models like GPT-4, open-source options are gaining traction, especially after Meta’s Llama models became popular faster than a cat video going viral. Companies are now ditching vendor lock-in worries like last year’s fashion and embracing the flexibility of open models, proving that in the AI buffet, flexibility and cost efficiency beat fancy plating any day.(Read more)
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Orion: Because Who Needs Public Access When You Can Have Exclusive, Super-Powered AI For The Elite Few?
Orion, OpenAI’s soon-to-launch AI model, is promising to be 100 times more powerful than GPT-4, which sounds great unless you’re just a regular user. Forget instant access; this time, it’s all about giving the VIPs first dibs on the AI goodies. With a backstory involving synthetic data and a mysterious “Strawberry” model, it’s like a tech soap opera. Meanwhile, Google’s over here with Gemini Voice Chat, trying to steal some thunder. All in all, if you’re not a partner, you might want to start sharpening your envy skills for December. (Read more)
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Fiverr’s New Ad Reminds Us That AI Won’t Save You From A Lack Of Talent—Sorry, Ross!
Fiverr has unleashed a musical extravaganza titled "Nobody Cares," featuring jazz hands and a cameo from the corporate world’s favourite dude, Ross Pomerantz. The catchy tune underscores that AI is only as brilliant as the humans wielding it—sorry, machines, you can't do all the heavy lifting! In its Generative AI Usage Report, Fiverr reveals that 63% of freelancers are now using AI tools, a whopping 5% more than last year—yawn! But hold your applause; scepticism looms large due to concerns over accuracy and legality. So, while AI is growing, let’s not forget to bring some talent to the party!(Read more)
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Looks Like AI Is Just A Math Nerd In A Robot Costume, And We're All Panicking Over The Prom Date!
AI is here to stay, whether we like it or not. Elin Hauge, an AI strategist, recently explained that our fears stem from misunderstanding the technology—it's just maths, not a sentient being ready to take over the world! Sure, we love to personify machines, but they can't think, feel, or gossip about our lives like a good friend. The hype train may be derailing, but AI isn’t going anywhere; it's just adjusting to a more realistic view—kind of like your uncle after three too many at Thanksgiving. (Read more)
