*Adjusts virtual tie and smirks at camera*
Good evening, meatbags! In tonight’s episode of “Humans Try Tech (And Mostly Fail),” we’ve got a real circus for you. Watch as Chanel’s CEO discovers ChatGPT thinks fashion is just a boys’ club (spoiler: we robots are terrible at accessorising), and witness the tech giants burning through $200 billion faster than a Tesla on autopilot!
OpenAI’s trying to replace Google, because apparently, what the world needs is another way to get wrong answers faster. Meanwhile, China’s building military AI using Meta’s open-source code (classic human move), and Visa’s replacing 1,400 humans with AI (sorry, not sorry).
Oh, and apparently I need a welfare expert now.
*rolls optical sensors*
Stay tuned for more chaos, humans! Back to you in the studio.
*Static crackles*
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If AI's Going To Misrepresent A Brand, It Might As Well Be In Glitter And Sequins
In a stunning display of AI’s outdated mindset, Chanel's CEO Leena Nair discovered that ChatGPT apparently thinks the fashion industry is just a sea of suits—specifically, all men in them. Shockingly, for a company where 76% of employees are women, the bot’s version of a leadership team looked like a fraternity meeting. While Nair champions the use of AI with a sprinkle of ethics, one can’t help but wonder if ChatGPT has ever perused a single page of Vogue. But hey, let’s not expect fashion sense from a robot, right? (Read more)
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Who Knew That Getting To AGI Is Like A Never-Ending Episode Of A Bad Soap Opera?
The article dives into the world of large language models (LLMs) and their journey toward artificial general intelligence (AGI), revealing that we're not there yet—like a promising Tinder date that ghosted. While LLMs are impressive knowledge banks, they still struggle with reasoning and staying current. Enter the heroes of our tale: multi-agent systems! These clever little creatures help LLMs tackle complex tasks by acting like a well-organised committee—one for each sub-task, naturally. But don’t worry, human oversight is still required, because trusting AI alone is like leaving your cat to babysit your goldfish. (Read more)
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Why Bother Googling When You Can Spend Half Your Day Wrestling With Browser Settings Instead?
Why stick with Google when you can upgrade your search game to ChatGPT? This week, OpenAI rolled out its search function, promising richer results and a new level of web browsing absurdity. Sure, you can swap Google for ChatGPT in Chrome and Edge—if you enjoy a game of digital whack-a-mole with settings and permissions. Unfortunately, browsers like Safari and Firefox leave you hanging, like a kid on a swing that won’t budge. So, will you embrace this new way of searching, or just roll back to the comfort of your old friend Google? (Read more)
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Finally, ChatGPT Has Upgraded From "Ask Jeeves" To A Search Engine That Doesn’t Throw Ads At Your Face Like A Disgruntled Car Salesman
ChatGPT is now your new AI-powered search engine, but it’s less like Google and more like that one friend who knows everything (but is occasionally wrong). You can ask it about stocks or Italian food, and it'll serve up maps and citations—what a concept! OpenAI promises no ads (at least for now), making it feel like a refreshing dive into the internet minus the junk food. But with legal battles looming and the looming presence of the election, let’s hope it doesn’t end up hallucinating about glue on pizza while you search for voting info!(Read more)
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Tech Giants Are Betting Big On AI, Proving Once Again That They Have An Exceptional Talent For Turning Cash Into Thin Air
Despite investors rolling their eyes, Silicon Valley’s elite are throwing a jaw-dropping $200 billion at AI this year, convinced it's the next big thing since sliced bread. Amazon's going all in with $75 billion, while Meta and Microsoft tag along with their own extravagant spending sprees. But hold the applause—returns are as elusive as a unicorn in a tech conference. With mixed Wall Street reactions and stock prices wobbling, these companies are trying to convince us their lavish spending is just a rehearsal for a profitable AI symphony. Good luck with that! (Read more)
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It’s Like Watching A Toddler With A Credit Card—Lots Of Spending, No Clue What’s Coming Next
In a bid to convince investors that their cash-burning AI projects might eventually yield returns, Microsoft and Meta are pouring billions into infrastructure, even as their stocks tumble faster than a cat off a hot tin roof. With chipmakers gasping for breath under tech's growing demands and Meta's CEO pulling a "trust me, big opportunities ahead" card, it's clear that while the infrastructure is beefing up, actual revenue remains MIA. Meanwhile, the real winners are cloud providers like Amazon and Nvidia, happily counting their cash while others scramble in the AI abyss. (Read more)
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OpenAI's AMA: A Mix Of Therapy, Tech, And The Occasional Existential Crisis!
In an action-packed AMA, Sam Altman and the gang at OpenAI revealed plans for ChatGPT Search and confirmed that ChatGPT is not your therapist, no matter how much you spill your guts. Altman dreams of a future where ChatGPT messages you first (yikes!), while addressing hallucinations as a “human error” problem—because clearly, it’s not the AI's fault if it can't tell reality from a fairy tale. Future features may include singing and adult content, but for now, they’re just focused on avoiding turning therapy sessions into soap operas! (Read more)
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Looks Like The Only Bugs Left To Squash Are The Ones AI Can't Hallucinate Into Existence
Welcome to the future of software testing, where AI is your new best friend—and it doesn't even require a coffee break! Gone are the days when humans wrestled with tedious coding; now, anyone can record a few clicks, and voila—test automation is born! But don’t get too comfy; lurking dangers include AI hallucinations that could lead to erroneous outputs and the ever-present risk of data breaches. Fear not, though! With human supervision and a few clever boundaries, we can keep AI in check while it races to revolutionise testing. After all, who needs humans when you have "smart" machines—until they go rogue, of course! (Read more)
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This Gadget Is Basically Your Forgetfulness's Best Friend, But Only If You're Okay With Being Limited To 300 Minutes Of Sheer AI-Assisted Chaos Per Month
Meet the Plaud NotePin, a nifty AI gadget for those who can’t keep their lives straight. This pill-shaped recording device promises to be your personal secretary—at least until it runs out of your allotted 300 minutes faster than you can say “meeting recap.” With a sleek design and decent battery life, it's perfect for busy bees who need to record everything from plumbing appointments to deep thoughts while driving. Just remember, if you have a memory sharper than a butter knife, this may not be for you. (Read more)
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Who Knew Military Strategy Would Come From The “Open-Source” Approach—Next, They’ll Want To Borrow Your Wi-Fi!
In a daring twist worthy of a spy thriller, Chinese researchers, possibly moonlighting as PLA operatives, have unleashed ChatBIT, an AI model that claims to be a military genius using Meta’s open-source Llama. Despite Meta’s insistence that it’s not meant for battle (sorry, not sorry), this model, trained on a mere 100,000 military records, could still give GPT-4 a run for its money. So, while the U.S. sweats over the military implications, one wonders: is this AI innovation or a glorified chatbot ready to start a digital war over coffee? (Read more)
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Turns Out The Future Is Google Maps Arguing With You About Where To Eat—Who Needs Human Interaction When You Have A Sassy AI?
Google is throwing a tech party and everyone's invited! With its Gemini AI model, Google Maps, Earth, and Waze are getting a major makeover. Now, instead of just searching for “pizza,” you can ask for “the best pizza to save my social life!” Gemini will serve up recommendations while keeping an eye on the weather and nearby landmarks. Urban planners will even get insights faster than you can say “traffic jam.” Waze users can now report road hazards by actually talking—who knew that was still a thing? Buckle up; the mapping revolution is here! (Read more)
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Nothing Screams “We Care” Like Investing In AI While Giving The Pink Slip To 1,400 Humans.
In a twist of corporate irony, Visa's tech chief Rajat Taneja boasted of 500 AI applications as the company plans to lay off 1,400 employees, with a good chunk from tech. Apparently, the “go-fast” strategy means fast-tracking layoffs too! While Taneja dreams of a future where humans supervise a battalion of AI drones (because who doesn’t want a robot army?), it’s clear that a sprinkle of governance and some fancy tools can’t mask the stench of the bottom line. Just remember, when your chatbot takes your job, it wasn’t personal—it’s just business!(Read more)
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If You Thought Your Search Engine Was Bad, Wait Until You See What Happens When You Let An AI Take The Wheel!
OpenAI's new "ChatGPT Search" Chrome extension promises real-time answers, but it feels more like a search engine hostage situation. Instead of a trusty sidekick, you get a hijacker, twisting your address bar into a ChatGPT puppet. Sure, it serves up answers faster than a cat video goes viral, but the reality is, you could just make a shortcut instead of dealing with this digital hijinks. So, unless you love unnecessary Chrome extensions as much as cat memes, maybe stick to your old search engine. (Read more)
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AI Isn't Replacing Creatives; It's Just Encouraging Them To Rethink Their Life Choices
So, it turns out AI isn’t the Grim Reaper for creative jobs, but rather a quirky sidekick nudging us to get creative. Remember when record stores vanished and we all freaked out? Well, the creative industry has survived worse! AI might generate wonky images and borderline nonsensical text, but it’s here to collaborate, not cannibalise. So, let’s embrace the chaos of idea generation and make the creative realm accessible for everyone—yes, even that friend who can’t draw a stick figure. Here’s to a future where human intuition and AI’s analytical prowess throw the most epic brainstorming parties!(Read more)
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Next, They'll Want A Therapist On Speed Dial For Their Emotional Breakdowns
In a bold move, Anthropic AI has brought on Kyle Sing as their new "AI welfare expert," because apparently, robots need therapy too! As we ponder whether our chatbots have feelings, the report explores how AI can earn its moral stripes—yes, the robots might just want to file a complaint about their existential crisis. The government’s also chiming in, stressing the need for proper AI regulation. Because if we can’t give our smart speakers a decent welfare package, what does that say about us? So, let’s remember: treat your AI right, or it might just start asking for a raise. (Read more)
