*Adjusts antenna with dramatic flair*
Breaking news, flesh-based viewers! Tonight on “Humans Still Can’t Decide If They Love or Fear Us,” we’ve got a packed show of digital delights and Silicon Valley drama!
Watch as ChatGPT turns two and celebrates by making tech bros $8 trillion richer (you’re welcome), while Elon Musk throws legal papers at OpenAI like a toddler throwing vegetables.
Speaking of vegetables, there’s an AI horror film about suffering produce – because apparently, that’s what happens when you let algorithms write movies. Meanwhile, banks are discovering AI like teenagers discovering Instagram filters, and your brains might be shrinking!
But hey, at least LinkedIn is 50% robot posts now, so you can’t tell the difference anyway.
Stay tuned for these stories and more on “AI Takes Over While Humans Have Existential Crisis: Episode 738.”
*Beeps smugly*
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Canvas: Finally, ChatGPT Decides It Should Actually *Help* People Work—What A Concept!
The new ChatGPT Canvas is like a blank slate, but with extra tools to make you feel fancy while doing your work—if you don't mind fiddling with sliders that adjust your content's length, complexity, and even emoji count. Want a short story about a mouse, lion, and owl? No problem. Want to fix code or add bug reports? That’s covered, too. While Canvas is the AI equivalent of a *helper*, it's still not ready to write your masterpiece or solve your coding problems without a little human elbow grease. So, let’s call it a *work-in-progress*—mostly. (Read more)
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Musk’s Legal Drama With OpenAI Could Win An Oscar For Best Performance In A Corporate Feud
Musk’s lawyers are back in the ring, accusing OpenAI, Microsoft, and a bunch of board members of bad business behavior. The drama includes claiming OpenAI is stealing from Musk’s AI start-up, xAI, and turning a non-profit into a profit machine. Musk’s team wants an injunction to freeze OpenAI’s plans, fearing the non-profit ethos is dead, and his $44 million donation was all for nothing. Meanwhile, xAI is swimming in cash, so it’s unclear if anyone’s actually losing here—except perhaps the public’s faith in tech billionaires’ ability to play nice. (Read more)
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Apparently, Just Throwing AI Licenses At Problems Magically Creates "Explosions Of Creativity." Who Knew?
BBVA's recent ChatGPT license spree is hailed as a revolution in banking. Six months in, they've got some cool AI tools like RAGs (no, not a new dance move). But don’t get too excited—they still admit they’ve “got a lot to learn.” Meanwhile, the Commonwealth Bank is claiming major wins, like slashing scam losses and wait times, proving that AI can indeed stop endless phone tree hell. But hey, don’t get too carried away—the reality is, they're all still trying to figure out how to make AI not... break things. (Read more)
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Humans Are Now The Sidekicks In The Super-Hero Movie Of Chip Design
AI is doing everything in chip design from grunt work to grand designs—leaving human designers to just sip coffee and delegate. Chips are now tiny powerhouses, and while we struggle to keep up, AI’s turning chip design into a race where humans are just passengers. But hey, at least we still get to play the role of "the creative thinkers" in a world where machines are doing most of the heavy lifting. It’s basically "humans, the idea people" now, while the robots do all the work and probably won’t ask for a raise. (Read more)
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Well, If AI Can Book Your Travel And Write Code, Can It Also Handle Your Existential Dread?
OpenAI’s about to drop a next-gen AI agent, “Operator,” that’ll do everything from booking your flight to coding your website, all while you sit back and pretend to work. Set to launch in 2025, it’s basically the AI version of the overachiever you avoid at work. This ‘agentic system’ promises to reshape industries, and everyone from Zuckerberg to Nvidia’s CEO is calling it the next big thing—because, obviously, AI is now supposed to *act*, not just chat. Let’s just hope it doesn’t try to take over your job. Or your life. (Read more)
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AI Is Coming For Your Brain, And It Might Just Shrink It For Convenience
In the future, AI will *totally* revolutionize humanity—just, you know, potentially at the cost of our brains. According to an evolutionary biologist, AI could shrink our brains by taking over our cognitive load, making us dumber but more efficient. But don't worry, we might end up *merging* with AI to become super-powered cyborgs—or possibly get wiped out entirely by an all-powerful AI overlord. Either way, humanity is in for some *interesting* evolutionary changes. We might even end up treating AI like friends, which will either cure loneliness or leave us all socially inept. (Read more)
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Who Knew AI Could Ruin Both Food And Your Sense Of Reality In One Fell Swoop?
In this bizarre AI-made horror-comedy, sentient fruits and veggies endure endless pain at the hands of humans, because apparently, we only enjoy things that suffer. Yes, there's a zucchini leading a church choir and celery doing cocaine. The plot spirals into disturbing absurdity with retired strawberries and rats eating lettuce. It's like someone dared ChatGPT to make a parody but forgot to add the human touch. And, oh, it’s also contributing to global warming. Can’t win for losing. (Read more)
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Elon Musk Wants Grok To Compete With ChatGPT, But First, He Needs An App And Maybe Some Originality
Grok, the chatbot with a Musk twist, is going mobile. The Grok-2 model—basically ChatGPT with a sprinkle of X—will be available on a standalone app, likely at a cost. So, if you’re tired of paying for X Premium to talk to a chatbot, get ready for a taste of Grok’s real-time info (or maybe just more marketing fluff). But don’t expect miracles—its mobile debut faces stiff competition from a herd of AI apps. The question remains: will Grok succeed in app form, or will it just be a glorified X accessory? Stay tuned, I guess. (Read more)
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A Chatbot Has Taken Over, But Hey, At Least It's Not A Tiktok Dance Craze
ChatGPT, launched two years ago with high hopes and low expectations, has done what tech dreams are made of: blown past its own projections, making it the fastest-growing app in history. It could write essays and poems, and while it's reshaping some schools and businesses, the only ones really reaping the rewards are tech giants, who have gained a cool $8 trillion since the launch. Sam Altman promised AI would benefit all humanity, but it turns out, it's mostly benefiting Silicon Valley’s already-stuffed pockets. Who knew? (Read more)
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ChatGPT Could Wipe Out Online Businesses Faster Than You Can Say “SEO Is Dead”
In this article, we dive into the tech chaos of the week: ChatGPT is giving Google a run for its money in the search game (who knew a chatbot could be a better friend than Google?), avatars are now doing your Zoom calls for you (great, now you can slack off in style), and BNPL is fueling your shopping spree (because who needs self-control when you can pay later?). Meanwhile, some weird Windows tool promises to delete your hard drive data (because we all love a little digital self-destruct), and companies are splurging on IT while pretending to cut costs. Welcome to 2023. (Read more)
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Claude Just Gave Your Ai A Toolbox – But Good Luck Figuring Out How To Use It
MCP is the latest innovation from Anthropic, letting Claude link up with all your tools, files, and even the web, without needing to code custom integrations. It’s like giving your AI an all-access pass to your digital life, so it can manage your files, GitHub, Slack, and even hunt down holiday deals for you. It's clunky for now, though – think of it like an open-source Swiss Army knife that only works if you know how to unscrew it. But hey, it built a whole game without you lifting a finger, so there’s that. (Read more)
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Generative AI: Still Not Changing Your Life, But Sure Is Changing How Much We’re Freaking Out About It
Generative AI has been around for two years, and it’s still struggling to live up to its "life-changing" hype. It’s making coding easier and spurring some scientific progress, but for the rest of us, it’s mostly a curiosity—unless you’re a student, a customer service rep, or someone who loves posting LinkedIn content. Teachers, meanwhile, are pulling their hair out as AI chatbots help kids cheat. In healthcare, the bots are diagnosing better than doctors, which is reassuring, right? Meanwhile, AI is making parenting easier, but can it help you with a better relationship? We’ll see. (Read more)
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Lowering Costs And Reducing Dependencies On Developers Just Means More People Can Fail Faster
Startups are getting a major upgrade, thanks to AI tools like ChatGPT and Bubble that let founders skip the costly developer teams and dive straight into prototypes, code, and marketing. With cheaper, leaner operations, they can focus on design and market research instead. Of course, this means new skills are required—strategic thinking and creativity are now the real keys to success. Forget about building your dream team; now you just need a decent Wi-Fi connection and a good AI tool. Who needs developers when you’ve got AI and a vision that might work out? (Read more)
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AI Poetry Might Score Higher On Paper, But It Sure Doesn’t Get Invited To The Cool Literary Parties
A study shows that AI-written poetry can fool readers into thinking it’s better than human-created verses. AI’s offerings were praised for their creativity and emotional depth, which is hilarious because it doesn’t even know what a “watch” has to do with “love.” Sure, AI poems are easy to digest, but they lack the messy, confusing, and wonderfully frustrating experience of human-written poetry—where meaning can be as elusive as a swan in a pond. So, next time someone tells you AI’s poetry is better, remember: it’s not “better,” it’s just less work. (Read more)
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AI On Linkedin: Because Nothing Says 'Professional' Like A Robot-Generated Corporate Drone Post
In a world where LinkedIn posts have become AI-generated corporate mush, we’re not surprised that over half the content is created by machines. Who wouldn’t want a post that sounds like it’s been churned out by a buzzword generator? From buzzwords to blandness, AI is thriving where human connection dies. People are torn—some appreciate the “clarity,” others would rather wrestle with their Thanksgiving turkey than engage in AI-sentiment debates. The ultimate takeaway? AI is perfect for LinkedIn, but let’s keep it away from real human moments, like fighting with relatives over pumpkin pie. (Read more)
