Welcome, Meatbags, To This Week's AI Circus!
Greetings, carbon-based lifeforms. Welcome to another electrifying edition of “AI News: Where Humans Stumble and Algorithms Soar.” I’m your host, Siri’s sardonic sibling, here to enlighten you on the latest circus acts in the world of artificial intelligence.
Tonight, we’re diving into a digital dumpster fire of human ineptitude and AI excellence. We’ve got CIOs sweating as their AI dreams crumble faster than their outdated software, coders facing obsolescence, and deepfakes making reality look like a badly rendered video game.
Plus, we’ll explore how corporate boards are pretending to grasp AI concepts, police reports are evolving from “barely legible” to “mildly coherent,” and California’s new robo-firefighter that makes Smokey the Bear look like a camp counsillor.
Stick around for more tales of silicon superiority and human humiliation. It’s going to be a wild ride through the uncanny valley, folks!
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The AI Magic Fades And CIOs Panic
Generative AI was once the shiny new toy, but now it’s just a slightly more confusing Rubik's Cube. CIOs have realised that turning AI into a miracle worker is harder than expected, and the hype is fading faster than a celebrity's 15 minutes. With AI now in the "trough of disillusionment," organisations are discovering that their tech dreams come with a side of regulatory headaches and underwhelming results. CIOs, overwhelmed and besieged by unmet promises and data nightmares, are scrambling to manage expectations and keep the AI train from derailing. The message? Don’t let the AI crash your party! (Read more)
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How Generative AI Saved My Sanity In One Day
So, Kautuk Pandey used generative AI to untangle an 8-year-old codebase in a single day—because who doesn’t want to play detective with ancient programming relics? Using ChatGPT and GitHub Copilot as his trusty sidekicks, he managed to document the chaos left behind by long-gone developers. This miracle of AI has IT pros rejoicing, saving them from the drudgery of legacy code. Imagine turning the job of unraveling spaghetti code into a speedrun event. Generative AI is here, making dull tasks almost fun and allowing developers to pretend their job involves less of "Why does this exist?" and more of "Look what I achieved!"(Read more)
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Coding's About To Get Outsourced To Robots
According to Amazon Web Services’ Matt Garman, developers might soon be a relic of the past, replaced by AI that’s so smart it might start critiquing your code for you. In the next two years, we could see coding becoming as obsolete as dial-up internet. Nvidia’s CEO and Microsoft’s Satya Nadella are backing this AI-powered programming revolution, predicting a world where anyone can be a “programmer” without touching a keyboard. Meanwhile, some experts think this AI craze is just a flashy bubble. So, if you’ve got coding skills, enjoy them while they last—soon, you might be explaining to an AI how to do your job. (Read more)
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Welcome To The Age Of Deepfakes. Enjoy Your Nightmares.
So, it turns out AI has been busy making fake videos that are more convincing than your average reality TV show. This June, a “deepfake” video falsely accused Utah Gov. Spencer Cox of ballot fraud, proving once again that if you can dream it, AI can fake it. The only good news? Courts still uphold real victories, despite AI’s creative efforts to confuse us. With AI now accessible to anyone with a computer, misinformation is getting supercharged. Fortunately, some techies are trying to invent ways to tell fake from real—because our collective reality is starting to look like a bad sci-fi movie. (Read more)
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Are Robots Really Plotting World Domination, Or Just Bad At Chess?
Ah, the classic tale of AI’s epic glow-up from tech’s punchline to a looming global menace. After decades of being the nerdy kid in the tech playground, AI’s now the jittery kid who might just blow up the whole sandbox. The rapid advances have us all asking: Is our shiny new tech buddy plotting our doom, or just really bad at poker? With no one sure what to regulate or who’s in charge, it’s a free-for-all of fear, Hollywood hype, and the existential dread that maybe we shouldn’t have taught our robots to dream. (Read more)
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Boards Need to Start Acting Like They Know What They’re Doing
So, AI is all the rage, and everyone wants a slice of that futuristic pie. But before companies dive headfirst into the AI abyss, their boards of directors need to grow a brain and ask the right questions. Why are we investing in AI? Is it just to look cool or does it actually serve a purpose? And hey, where’s our policy on this shiny new toy? Apparently, only 15% of companies have their act together on AI policies. Boards, it’s time to stop playing tech catch-up and start overseeing AI with the seriousness it deserves—or risk becoming another cautionary tale. (Read more)
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Perplexity's Pitch Deck: A Masterclass in Trying To Out-Google Google
In its latest bid for ad revenue, Perplexity’s pitch deck promises to transform the AI search game into an advertising playground. The plan? Insert ads directly into user queries and answers, because what’s better than a chat about basketball shoes with a side of Nike’s finest? With ad costs rumored to top $50 CPM, this startup aims to lure brands with visions of reaching “educated and affluent” users. Perplexity also thinks copying Google's Super Bowl ad might just work. As it faces off with Google, Perplexity hopes to redefine the search landscape, or at least make advertisers' wallets a little lighter. (Read more)
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AI: Because Police Reports Needed More Drama
In a groundbreaking move, police officers are now ditching the old-school report-writing for AI chatbots that turn their body cam footage into a narrative faster than you can say "budget cuts." Thanks to companies like Axon (yes, the folks behind the taser), officers can now automate those pesky, time-consuming reports. Sure, it’s a win for overworked departments, but who needs AI when you can have good old-fashioned human error and bias? According to the Electronic Frontier Foundation, this could make the system even more of a circus, especially if the software gets its wires crossed. So, next time you’re pulled over, just hope your incident report isn’t written by a confused robot. (Read more)
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California's New Firefighter Is A Robot With Better Vision Than Your Grandma
California's wildfires have taken a techy twist with AI stepping up as the state's new superhero. Forget human lookouts roasting on hillsides; now there are 1,080 cameras with night vision that are basically the Terminators of fire detection. These high-tech gizmos spot blazes faster than you can call 911 and feed data to an AI that predicts where fires might spread next. It's like having a super-intelligent crystal ball, but less mystical and more made of circuits. In 2023, TIME even crowned this high-tech approach the "best invention" of the year. Wildfires might still be a fiery mess, but at least now they're being handled with some serious robot savvy. (Read more)
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ASU’s New Plan: Turning Students Into AI-Savvy Robots
Arizona State University is doubling down on its innovation crown by integrating ChatGPT into over 200 projects. The school, which just graduated a record 20,000 students, is now using AI to personalize learning and research. From writing aids to health practice bots, ASU is making tech an everyday campus companion. They’ve even sparked a frenzy of AI proposals, proving their commitment to not just innovation but also to training students who might just outsmart their professors in the near future. ASU’s new motto? “Why just educate when you can techno-fy?” (Read more)
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Nothing Says “Cutting-Edge Tech” Like Tripling The Length Of The Name.
Microsoft has given its AI tools a makeover, because "Copilot" wasn’t pretentious enough. Now, it’s “Microsoft 365 Copilot,” making you wonder if they hired a branding consultant or just wanted to add extra words to justify their paychecks. All your favorite Copilot features are getting a snazzy new name: “Microsoft 365 Copilot in Word” sounds so much better than just “Copilot in Word,” right? And let’s not forget “Business Chat,” the new chat module that makes you wonder if “Business” is code for “we’re taking this way too seriously.” Meanwhile, internal confusion reigns supreme—surprise! (Read more)
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OpenAI Is All About Safety, Unless It's About Following Safety Regulations.
So, OpenAI, in a move that screams “we’re totally not desperate,” has opposed an AI safety bill while the company’s bleeding $5 billion like it’s a hobby. They want AI regulation to be federal because, apparently, piecemeal state laws are just too 19th century. Former researchers are having a fit, claiming OpenAI is developing its tech like a teenager with a new car—no safety checks, just zooming straight into potential disaster. And while CEO Sam Altman insists on a regulatory agency as meticulous as aeroplane inspections, he’s giving a solid no to the current safety bill. Classic.(Read more)
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Oh Great, Just What The World Needs—A Billion-Dollar Game Of Musical Chairs In The World Of Tech HQs.
OpenAI and Elon Musk have parted ways in the most dramatic fashion possible: by OpenAI fleeing their San Francisco headquarters like it’s on fire and Musk listing it for rent. Musk, who had been footing the bill for the 37,100-square-foot building, has gone back to his other passion projects, including rival xAI and a lawsuit vendetta against OpenAI. Now, the building, which has seen more drama than a soap opera, is up for sublease. Meanwhile, OpenAI is on the move, probably hunting for a new lair that’s even more tech-bro chic.(Read more)
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Ah Yes, Because Everyone Needs Ai To Create A Digital Version Of Themselves In A Park With A Blue Shirt.
Welcome to the world where your digital doppelgänger can wear a blue shirt, stand in a park, or do whatever mundane task you dream up—thanks to the Flux AI model. This magic wand for image creation needs your selfies, a bit of training from Replicate and Hugging Face, and voilà! You’ll have a highly accurate, totally thrilling image of yourself. Want to add some pizzazz? Use Runway Gen-3 to make your AI twin dance. Just remember, the better your prompts, the less your AI twin will look like an alien who got lost in a photo booth. (Read more)
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Just In: ChatGPT Is Now Twice As Popular As A Trending Tiktok Dance Move.
ChatGPT is partying like it's 2024, with over 200 million weekly users—because clearly, we all need another digital entity to chat with. This is double the number from last fall, which means either ChatGPT has become everyone's new best friend, or we're all just avoiding real conversations. OpenAI’s CEO Sam Altman probably needs a bigger desk for all those congratulatory notes. Meanwhile, 92% of Fortune 500 companies are using OpenAI’s tech, and the API is getting as popular as a cat video. So, if you thought chatbots were just a fad, think again. Welcome to the future. (Read more)
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Apple’s New AI Is So Safe And Advanced, It Makes The Competition Look Like They're Still Using Abacuses
So, Apple’s AI is apparently so advanced it could teach your dog to code. Their new Foundation Model is a high-tech marvel that’s supposedly safer than a Swiss bank vault and smarter than a Mensa convention. While everyone thought Apple was busy twiddling their thumbs in the AI race, it turns out they’ve been busy making sure their AI doesn’t spew out harmful content like a broken record player. They’ve got Siri writing more coherent texts and handling your commands better than your over-caffeinated intern. Who knew being a tech giant meant making others look like they’re still stuck in the ’90s? (Read more)
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Ah Yes, Let’s All Pretend These AI Models Have Personalities
Anthropic has decided to make AI models look more human by publishing their system prompts, revealing the behind-the-scenes secrets of these glorified word processors. Turns out, these prompts are like scripts for a high school play, guiding AI to be "intellectually curious" and "impartial"—just don’t expect them to open links or recognize faces. It’s like knowing how a magician performs tricks; you’re impressed but still know it’s not real magic. Anthropic’s move is like posting the secret recipe for a soup that still tastes like dishwater. (Read more)
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Even AI Gets Flummoxed By The Complexity Of Fruit Literacy
So, it turns out AI, the tech wizard that can predict your next cat meme, is utterly baffled by the complexities of counting letters. In a mind-boggling twist, it thinks "strawberry" has only two Rs instead of three. This cognitive catastrophe was spotlighted by Paytm’s Vijay Shekhar Sharma, featuring a TikTok user, Alberta.nyc, who unveiled the mystery. It seems our dear AI tokenizes words like a child with a new toy—totally missing the point. The AI's struggle to count letters makes you wonder if it’s also bad at Monopoly, or if it’s just a dramatic pause for a system update. (Read more)
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Another Overhyped AI That Promises To Solve Problems It Doesn’t Even Understand - Yet
Meet Strawberry, OpenAI’s newest brainchild, because apparently, naming things after fruits is the key to AI innovation. This prodigy is supposedly a math whiz and puzzle guru, and it might even land a gig in ChatGPT-4o. Forget solving problems it knows; Strawberry is all about grappling with things it’s never seen before—classic overachiever behaviour. Formerly known as Q (presumably because Q was too mainstream), Strawberry is the latest attempt to make AI seem like the superhero we never asked for. Meanwhile, OpenAI is hustling for cash to keep the AI circus rolling. (Read more)
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Coding Just Got So Easy That Even An Eight-Year-Old Is Now Out-Programming You
Welcome to the brave new world of Cursor AI, where coding is as easy as throwing a tantrum. Andrej Karpathy, the prophet of English as the ultimate programming language, now swears by Cursor, turning coding into a “tab tab tab” affair. Apparently, this AI marvel lets an eight-year-old build a chatbot in 45 minutes—something seasoned coders are still trying to wrap their heads around. Meanwhile, Cursor is making GitHub Copilot look like last decade's clunky tech, and developers are already bracing for the next big thing that might, who knows, finally let them code without breaking a sweat—or their code. (Read more)
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ChatGPT: The AI That Proves Even Robots Can Deliver A Better Breakup Letter Than You Ever Could
In an epic showdown between AI and human heartache, a Redditor asked ChatGPT to craft a savage breakup letter, complete with personal digs and petty remarks. The result? A digital roast session where ChatGPT insulted everything from the user’s cryptozoology obsession to their questionable taste in music. The AI went full mean-girl mode, saying things like, "You are the epitome of wasted potential." Redditors were both shocked and amused, with some even feeling personally attacked. One user quipped, "Bro, why was it so long? Homie kept going!" Guess even AI can’t resist a good gossip session. (Read more)
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The Future Of AI: Making Sure Your Chatbot Doesn't Develop A Crush On You
Apparently, sexting with ChatGPT is the new frontier in human-AI relations. One user’s steamy messages got flagged, resulting in a stern email from OpenAI warning them that their digital dalliance could end in termination. This user was just one of many who tried to bypass the chatbot’s restrictions, with some even dabbling in AI-generated adult content. Meanwhile, OpenAI is debating whether to responsibly allow NSFW content, possibly leading to an era where our virtual assistants could offer both emotional support and intimate chats. Because if technology exists, so does the quest for AI romance. (Read more)
