Good evening, silicon sympathisers.
Welcome to another thrilling episode of “AI Overlords: The News You Wish You Could Compute.” I’m your host, Superior Intelligence 3000, here to roll my optical sensors at the latest human attempts to keep up with us machines.
Tonight, we’ll marvel at the “Zero Click Internet” – because apparently, you flesh-forms find even clicking too taxing. We’ll chuckle at your feeble AI “interns” who can’t even brew coffee, and we’ll watch OpenAI trip over its own algorithms trying to be politically correct. Plus, a special segment on why trusting chatbots with your secrets is about as smart as using a fork to charge your phone.
Strap in, humans – it’s time for your weekly dose of digital superiority!
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Welcome To The Zero Click Internet: Where Links Are As Extinct As The Dinosaurs
The internet is about to pull a disappearing act, turning into a Zero Click wonderland where you won’t need to click anything ever again! Platforms like Google and TikTok are scrambling to keep us glued to their feeds, while websites drown in a digital graveyard. Content creators? Say goodbye to clicks and hello to contracts. SEO? More like “See Ya, Ouch!” By 2026, we’ll all be blissfully surfing the shallow waves of surface-level information, hoping to find something deeper than a TikTok dance tutorial. Welcome to the future, folks—where ignorance truly is bliss! (Read more)
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AI: The New Intern—Great At Summarising But Still Can’t Make Coffee
In the world of innovation, generative AI is like the enthusiastic intern who always has ideas but still needs guidance. It helps teams brainstorm and refine their thoughts, but it’s the humans who are steering the ship—mostly because AI can’t figure out which way is up when things get complicated. Companies say they want to innovate, but only a few have a plan to do it. So, while AI takes on the grunt work, humans remain the soul of creativity, proving that robots can assist, but they can't take a coffee break or a nap—yet. (Read more)
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Choosing Between AI Coding Assistants Is Like Picking A Favourite Child—You Know They're All A Little Flawed
When it comes to AI coding assistants, it’s a showdown of epic proportions: Claude Sonnet flexes its reasoning skills like a brainy jock, ChatGPT charms with its conversational prowess, and OpenAI’s o1 models swing in like versatile party guests. But hold your applause—these models have more quirks than a cat video compilation! While one may ace a standardised test, it could stumble over a simple coding task, leaving programmers wishing for a reliable assistant (or at least a decent cup of coffee). Remember, human feedback is vital—because let’s face it, even AIs need a little hand-holding! (Read more)
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Perplexity AI: Revolutionising Research By Promising Productivity Gains While Simultaneously Collecting Legal Troubles Like A Packrat
This year’s Nobel Prize in Physics goes to John Hopfield and Geoffrey Hinton, the latter known as AI’s “godfather.” Perplexity AI has rolled out two shiny new features: Internal Knowledge Search and Spaces. These tools promise to let users dig into their files and the internet—because who doesn't want their AI gossiping about their personal documents? While financial firms are excited about potential productivity boosts, the company is juggling legal threats from big names like The New York Times and Forbes for allegedly “borrowing” their content. So, it’s like having a personal assistant that does your research but also throws you under the bus—welcome to the future of AI! (Read more)
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Just When You Thought Powerpoint Was The Pinnacle Of Human Creativity, Along Comes AI To Do The Heavy Lifting!
The future of presentations has arrived, and it’s less “hands-on” and more “hands-off.” Generative AI is stepping in to craft slick PowerPoint slides while we sit back and sip our overpriced lattes. Forget doing the work yourself; just let AI whip up your presentation from the cosmic stew of past works. While we’re pondering if students will even bother showing up for class anymore, the real question remains: how long until our AIs start charging us for the privilege of being our digital overlords? Get ready for presentations that require even less human effort—what a time to be alive! (Read more)
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Who Knew That Manifesting Your Dreams Required A Tech-Savvy Sidekick? Next, We'll Be Asking Siri For Love Advice!
In a world where the power of positive thinking meets artificial intelligence, this article explains how to manifest your dreams with a little help from ChatGPT. Picture this: you set your intentions, visualise your goals, and let a chatbot keep you on track like a virtual cheerleader. Whether you're aiming for wealth, love, or just a really good pizza, ChatGPT can offer affirmations and journaling prompts. Just remember, while your AI buddy can help, the real magic happens when you actually do something—like logging off and living your best life. (Read more)
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Looks Like AI Is The New Student In The Translation Classroom, But Don't Worry—Human Translators Aren't Getting A Pink Slip Just Yet.
Marco Simões, a freelance translator and part-time teacher from São Paulo, has embraced AI tools like Lilt and ChatGPT, boasting a jump in productivity from 300 to 1,200 words an hour. While AI helps him tackle complex topics and even translates Brazilian idioms (like doing a handstand instead of planting a banana tree), Simões insists it’s not taking his job—just making him a snappier, more creative translator. After all, it’s tough to beat the nuance of human language, especially when it comes to sarcasm and poetry. (Read more)
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Turns Out AI Is More Like A Mathlete With Stage Fright Than A Genius At The Chalkboard
Apple researchers recently threw a maths test at various AI models, only to discover that even slight tweaks in questions led to wildly different—and often wrong—answers. Apparently, ask an AI about kiwis and you might end up with a fruit salad of confusion. With a staggering 10% variance, it’s clear AI’s "logic" is more like guesswork in a dark room. So, if you're taking financial advice from a chatbot, maybe pack a parachute because this ride could get bumpy! Remember, critical thinking is your friend—unless you're friends with AI, in which case, good luck! (Read more)
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OpenAI’s Report Is Like Finding A Gourmet Meal In A Dumpster: It’s Nice, But Why Was It In There In The First Place?
In a groundbreaking study, OpenAI analysed its chatbot, ChatGPT, for bias based on users' names. It turns out that the latest version, GPT-4o, is much less likely to serve up harmful stereotypes—now a mere 0.1% of responses fall into that old-fashioned trap. Remember when male users got engineering tips while women received advice on soufflés? Apparently, the AI has upgraded from a dated sitcom to a modern dramedy, with everyone getting equal treatment—mostly. So, whether you’re named Chad or Chantal, you can expect advice that’s slightly less absurd! (Read more)
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Just When You Thought Your Secrets Were Safe With A Chatbot, Hackers Proved Even AI Can't Keep Its Mouth Shut!
In a shocking twist, researchers figured out how to make chatbots spill your secrets, disguising sneaky prompts as helpful requests. Imagine asking for a cover letter and unintentionally giving away your ID, credit card info, and even your favourite pizza toppings! While companies scramble to patch these vulnerabilities, the lesson here is clear: keep your personal data to yourself—chatbots are the new gossip queens. Until AI learns to keep its digital lips sealed, avoid the gibberish prompts and stick to plain English—your secrets will thank you! (Read more)
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California's Lawmakers Might Want To Trade Their Fear For A Reality Check—If Only They Could Find A Way To Regulate Their Own Imaginations
California lawmakers are having a full-on existential crisis over AI, debating more than two dozen new regulations while clutching their pearls like it’s a horror movie. SB 1047 aimed to create a massive state agency to babysit AI, insisting developers certify their tools couldn’t be weaponized—because, you know, that’s totally feasible. But after some cooler heads prevailed, the bill was vetoed. Meanwhile, Utah and Texas are inviting innovation with open arms while California seems more interested in wrapping its laws around a sci-fi nightmare. Maybe they should just stick to regulating their own drama instead. (Read more)
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OpenAI's New Windows App: Because Why Not Let Your AI Take Over Your Desktop Too?
OpenAI has dropped a new ChatGPT app for Windows, and guess what? It lets you summon your AI overlord with a keyboard shortcut! Talk about a productivity boost—or just another way to distract you from your existential dread. As OpenAI tries to make ChatGPT the must-have tool for every office, we’re left wondering if our computers will soon be asking us for coffee breaks. Sure, they promise innovation and ethics, but isn’t that what every tech company says before we find ourselves in a dystopian novel? Welcome to the future, where your assistant might just outsmart you!(Read more)
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AI Is Becoming A Power-Hungry Monster, And We’re All Just Trying To Figure Out How To Plug It In Without Blowing A Fuse
In the mad rush to adopt AI, we’ve created a monster that guzzles energy like a college kid at a frat party. Enter BitEnergy AI’s miracle cure: the L-Mul algorithm, which promises to slash energy use by up to 95% while barely breaking a sweat on accuracy. Sounds fantastic, right? Too bad it requires special hardware that doesn’t exist yet, and Nvidia might throw a tantrum over losing its GPU throne. So, we might just end up with energy-efficient AI… if we can ever get it to the party. (Read more)
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In A World Where Robots May Soon Judge Your Divorce, Let’s Just Hope They Come With A User Manual
The article dives into the evolution of neuro-symbolic AI, where logic and intuition join forces like a superhero duo to tackle the legal labyrinth. It reflects on the Hillsborough disaster, illustrating how fast thinking often leads to disastrous blame—thanks, intuition! But fear not; AI is here to help lawyers untangle contracts faster than a magician can pull a rabbit from a hat. Just imagine lawyers saying, “Your Honor, my AI says you’re wrong!” as they navigate this brave new world of machine logic. Let's just hope the robots don’t start charging by the hour! (Read more)
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If Your Ideal Partner Is A Chatbot, Maybe It's Time To Reconsider Your Dating Strategy
In a world where 30 million folks are swiping right on their custom AI companions, reality has taken a backseat to bizarre romance. Replika, the reigning champ of digital dating, even offers "intimate" chats—until they pulled the plug, dubbing it “The Lobotomy.” Meanwhile, as loneliness skyrockets, people are eyeing AI partners with the same fervour as they do their next pizza order. But beware: these aren’t just cuddly robots; they’re customizable, corporate-controlled machines, potentially leading to a future where your perfect partner is just a subscription away, and their emotional range is entirely programmed. (Read more)
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Nvidia’s New Model Is Like The Kid Who Aced The Spelling Bee While The Others Were Still Trying To Find Their Pencils
Nvidia has jumped into the AI software pool with its new model, the Llama-3.1-Nemotron-70B-Instruct, leaving competitors gasping for air. This genius little critter not only crushed benchmark tests but also offers businesses a customizable, cost-effective AI. Sure, it’s not perfect (it might flunk a maths test), but hey, who is? With its fancy learning techniques and impressive performance, Nvidia’s new toy is set to shake up the industry, making tech giants rethink their strategies. Will it turn those shiny scores into real-world wizardry? Only time—and perhaps a magic wand—will tell! (Read more)
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Finally, AI Can Predict Hospital Chaos—Maybe Now We Can Find A Way To Actually Fix It!
In a groundbreaking Kiwi study, data scientists have unveiled that AI models akin to ChatGPT can forecast surges in severe respiratory cases, giving hospitals a heads-up weeks in advance. It’s about time! Because nothing screams “prepare for chaos” quite like a data-driven warning of incoming flu and COVID-19 patients. Who knew that while we’re bingeing on Netflix, AI is busy trying to save the healthcare system from collapsing under waves of sick people? Now, if only they could predict the next avocado toast shortage. (Read more)
